Transcendence and Regression
by justgivingmytwoshekel'sworth
Summary: In the end, we are but mortals, ultimately enslaved by fallibility.


The sun, located strategically to provide every corner of the earthly realm with replenishments for its inhabitants, sets forth electromagnetic waves of sorts capable of penetration the void— better known as the vacuum— and enter Earth's atmosphere. From there onwards lifeforms intake the substenance provided by the omnipotent source of warmth and light. Alas, the avarice of mankind has invariably upset the resource distribution equilibrium. But ultimately the callous acts of men shall not go unpunished.

Hachiman, a purported intellectual, relaxed his appendages as he made his gradual and lethargic ascent from his cozy bed. He picked up an empty can of beer which was indulged by him in the nocturnal phase of the day before and promptly defenestrated it. Amoxicillin was then injected into his bloodstream, as he starts intoxicating himself with a cornucopia of drugs— all sourced through an elaborate scheme of trade deals with Hispanic cartels. He became as inebriated as an Irish drunkman through the drugs. Hallucination come next as he staggered with each step, his sense of orientation profoundly diminished. His mind conjures up sibylline intangibles in four dimensional planar existence and harrowing graphics of the Vietnam war.

Yukino sat herself in front of the piano, all her foci directed on the series of dichromatic keys, figuring out the optimal way of procuring an arpeggio— the likes of which never seen before— without disrupting the stringent adherence to the fundamental musical mandate of the circle of fifth. A quagmire circled her mind, and as she circled the circle of fifths (all of multitudinal variance) on her scores, she grew increasingly querulous. The musical conundrum is simply not within her intellectual capacity.

"Yahallo!" Yui greeted Yukino with the vernacular parlance indigenous to bimbos and hoes. Contrary to her colloquity, Yui is in fact a prodigy of the highest order. Her musical inclination baffled and left dumbstruck even the most distinguished of composers. Her circle of fifths are of such a degree of coherence and all-encompassing in the usage of the 88 keys that one would patently sense the innate proclivity to moisten one's sclera.

So she helped Yukino redraw her circle of fifths. With the guidance of Yui, Yukino concocted an enhanced circle of fifths, and was finally able to bring forth arpeggios so beautiful that even the trees oscillated in accordance to the inconstant tonality of the arpeggio. Not a trace of dissonance can be detected. Yukino thanked Yui graciously, for such nonpareil quality in her arpeggio could never materialize without the tutelage of Yui-sama.

"Hachiman!" Sensei vociferated with unprecedented intensity at Hachiman, who is by foaming at the mouth, an aftermath of his voluminous dosage. "Apocalypse! Armageddon!" The methylenedioxyphenethylamine triggered his inner Nostradamus. Sensei then exploded with scathing wrath and hooked him right in the left side of his external oral cavity.

"Hachiman, the paucity of intellect in you today is truly unsettling. What happened?"

"Sensei you are bitch."

"As punishment for your burgeoning disregard for my authority, you shall hereby answer all of my questions."

"First, come forward and draw me a venn diagram showing through logical deduction the visual relationship between two unlike events A and B where the probability of A union B is the derivative of the inverse square root of the standard deviation expanded logarithmically through the first order of Euler Law with respect to the continuous parabolic random variable r, given that r is kept at a value not exceeding the product of the half life of a cesium atom and the relative velocity of Oxygen molecules placed in a centrifuge oscillating in sync with the periodic motion of the sun, taking into account the surface temperature of the sun, set at 6273 kelvin.

"By placing the random variable in a tesseractic solution set, we could ultimately derive a multivariable differential equation, which can be solved using Gauss's Law of Multivariate Integrals. Dissect the output using an Archimedes modulator and use the Complex Matrix principle to generate a series of random pseudo-integers, which can then be summed up using quasistatic summation. The final answer is 12."

Sensei smiled. Hachiman's intellect is still intact. She heaved a sigh of relief.

Alas, her focus on Hachiman has cost another student a chance to redemption. In a secluded corner, Totsuka was ostensibly focused on his work. A closer look review that what he is doing is completely opposite. He is busy with concocting dank memes.

"Viola! My piece de resistance, the creme de la creme, the tortilla más deliciosa, the ultimate meme, it's finally done!" Totsuka shouted with alacrity as he revealed to Yui, who was sitting next to him, his greatest masterpiece— an expanding intellect meme.


End file.
